It's been a while since I ran a story in my "Banned By The State" series, but that doesn't mean to say that the State hasn't been banning things. Far from it. And following on from mince pies, bouncy castles and football boots comes a new scourge of the Health and Safety Gestapo - swimming in wet weather.
Swimmers at the London Fields Lido in Hackney have been stopped from entering the pool during showers of rain, for Health and Safety reasons.
So, what's the problem ? Slippery pool edges ? Risk of someone getting a chill ? Acid rain ? Oooo, no, far more serious than that. Apparently heavy rain can make it more difficult to see through the water, so the lifegaurds might miss the fact that somebody's drowning. Because the nasty pitta-patta rain drops distort the water. No, really they do. Stop laughing at the back.
Stop what you're doing...it's clouding over !
OK, I know this isn't what one does with Health and Safety issues, but let's just look at this rationally, shall we ? For a start the chances of someone getting into such a level of difficulty are tiny - we all know that. The obessession with having numerous lifegaurds on duty at swimming pools adds little value except to the Council Tax. And the chances of someone getting into trouble when it's raining are even smaller. But just to humour the Gestapo let's just assume it happens, once every five years or so. All you need is:
- lifegaurds who can stay awake and watch the water a bit more closely;
- worst case, a fellow swimmer comes to the striken citizen's need.
Rocket science ? Well yes, seemingly so for Hackney Council.
As I promised a couple of months ago, when I find council-imposed lunacy like this, I'll identify the party in charge, so that we all know who's responsible.
Hackney council: Labour. As red as a London bus, in fact.
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