Wishes For Tonight

The (half-price, from Morrisons) Champagne is in the fridge, along with a few British beers. The whisky is on stand-by in case things get really rough. Either way, the Womble is getting drunk tonight. For one of two very good reasons:

if Gordon Brown loses, I'm getting drunk to celebrate;

if he wins, I'm getting drunk while it's still legal.

But there are a few specific results which could improve the night immensely. Over the years of Labour rule I've been building, mainly in my head, a list of Labour hate-figures, whom I would dearly like to see get trounced tonight. I've blogged about a few of them in the past, but for the avoidance of doubt, here they are.

Emily Thornberry - Islington South and Finsbury, majority 484; she who altered an official Electoral Commission press release and used Commons stationery for her own political ends.

Jacqui Smith - Redditich, majority 1948, who simply ripped the Michael out of us on expenses and tried to tear the heart out of liberties and freedoms.

Dawn Butler - Brent Central, new seat, who pretended to have a personal endorsement from Barak Obama.

David Wright - Telford, majority 5406, who slated the Conservatives as "scum-sucking pigs" on his Twitter page and then lied to cover up the evidence.

Kerry McCarthy - Bristol East, majority 8,621, recently described by Iain Dale as possibly the thickest person in Parliament, who boasted about the possibility of publishing an illegally obtained list of members of the BNP and who twittered the outcome of postal votes in a clear breach of electoral law.

In the context of a few of the other things that happened with expenses and the extent to which ZaNu Labour have destroyed our country you might argue that this is pretty small beer, and in some ways you'd be right. But this little lot are symtomatic of a corrupt, out-of-touch, arrogant group of Labour MPs who abuse the system because they believe they're better than us. May they all get completely stuffed, and may I get completely hammered for the right reasons.